DeGeneres to Replace Abdul?

All you “American Idol” fans who were hoping that a last-minute change of heart would bring Paula Abdul back to the show can now give up on that dream.

Fox has announced that Ellen DeGeneres will be the new fourth judge on the show. She’ll start work on “Idol” after a parade of temporary fill-ins (including Victoria Beckham, Mary J. Blige, Kristin Chenoweth, Joe Jonas, Neil Patrick Harris, Avril Lavigne, Katy Perry and Shania Twain) winds down during the audition rounds.

“I’m thrilled to be the new judge on American Idol,” DeGeneres said in a Fox press release. “I’ve watched since the beginning, and I’ve always been a huge fan. So getting this job is a dream come true, and think of all the money I’ll save from not having to text in my vote.”


Okay, WTF? Seriously. I mean, don’t get me wrong I love Ellen, but how is she qualified to judge a singing competition? Yes, she’s charismatic and funny, but that doesn’t qualify her to judge singing. American Idol is flailing like a fish in a tanning booth and I would not be surprised if it did not return next year. Simon doesn’t need AI–he’s got X-Factor. Randy doesn’t need AI–he’s got America’s Best Dance Crew. Kara, the Cousin Oliver of the show, doesn’t need AI–she’s a songwriter. If American Idol did get cancelled, it goes without saying that there will be backlash, so yeah, please, 19 Entertainment, fix it, but Ellen is not the proper cure. She’s merely a butterfly bandage. There are so many has-beens in the music industry that they could’ve chosen that, so what’s the problem? It’s apparent that Paula had that “complete package” that nobody else can bring to the Coca-Cola sponsored table. We miss you, hon.

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